Tag Archives: idiots

Noted Moron Eric Schmidt Flips Off Great Britain

Google’s ex-CEO and current Official Sayer of Stupidities Eric Schmidt thinks paying taxes in Great Britain is for plebeian shitmunchers.

The Independent:

Mr Schmidt defended his company’s practice, suggesting that its contribution to the UK economy was more important than the tax it paid to the Exchequer. “We are investing heavily in Britain,” he said. “We power literally billions of pounds of start-ups through advertising networks and so forth, and we’re a key part of the electronic commerce expansion of Britain, which is driving a lot of economic growth for the country. So from our perspective, I think, you have to look at it in a totality.

And then the asshat decides to add this little bon mot:

The people we employ in Britain are certainly paying British taxes, and more importantly, they’re British citizens and they’re driving a lot of GDP.

This sort of thing is easy enough to get away with in the United States, since our Congress is a wholly owned subsidiary of Whoever Has $1, but that bird may not soar so gracefully on the other side of the pond.

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How About A Tiny Dumbphone?

If your gigantic five-inch Teletablophoneblet gets stuck in your normal-sized pocket, now you can buy a dumbphone that will connect wirelessly to your gigantic five-inch Teletablophoneblet. That way you never have to use your useless gigantic five-inch Teletablophoneblet, and you can just use a dumbphone instead. Brilliant!

Or, you could just buy a phone that can be lifted by a single human being of average strength—if you’re one of those morons who enjoy usable products which weren’t designed by fucking idiots.

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HP Decides It Ought To Make A Phone

Meg Whitman, quoted on The Verge:

We have to ultimately offer a smartphone because in many countries of the world that would be your first computing device. […] We are a computing company, we have to take advantage of that form factor.

Oh shit, is it 2006 already?

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Samsung Is Hilarious

Allow me to belatedly (and perhaps superfluously) make a quick comment on this whole Apple vs. Samsung rigamarole: Ha ha ha, hahahahaha. Ha. Ha! Ha.

But on a serious note: How can anyone find it acceptable that Apple spent five years pouring brainpower and money into inventing a thing that every single human wants, and Samsung said, “yeah, that looks like it’ll kill our phone business, let’s shit out a cheap copy ASAP and then act all righteous about having shat a sub-par simulacrum.” Come off it. Which do you turds hate more: Apple, reason, or quality gadgetry?

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Media Executives Are Morons

So “content creators” have their panties all in a wad over Aereo, a service which allows subscribers in New York City to watch live television over the internet. They are dumb, stupid idiots:

Broadcasters also claim that Aereo threatens their license agreements with services like Hulu and would effectively kill advertising revenue — networks say there’s no viable way of tracking online viewership.

Great point, dumbasses. It’s a computer. It can track viewership. A television cannot. So, that was a really effing stupid thing to say, you jackass.

I like Chris Welch’s rebuttal:

These arguments seem rather hard to justify when you consider Aereo is extending the distribution of what’s already offered for free.

Yes, exactly. What are they supposed to be losing, anyway? I’m sick to fucking death of these media companies keeping us in 1957. It’s 2012.

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Stop It, RIM, You’re Embarrassing Everyone

Just look at this garbage. I’ll bet you close the window the second the talking begins.

This is all the proof you need–outside of using one of their devices–in order to understand just how quickly RIM and Blackberry are swirling down the shitter.

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The Future Is Retro

And I’d recommend checking it out if that link didn’t point to one of those damned idiotic pageview-pimping “slideshow” articles.

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It’s Time To Get Real About Doodoo In Advertising

Here’s something that pisses me off: blatant scatology in television commercials. It’s out of control.

Here are some cartoon babies filling diapers with caca:

Here’s a cartoon bear with TP stuck on his ass:

Here’s an “honest discussion of what goes on in the bathroom”:

Hahaha, these politicians are fartmonsters, LOL:

Give me a fucking break. Am I going to go out of my way to avoid buying any of these products? Hell yes. How’s that for a consumer reaction, you dumb shits (pun very much intended)?

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